16th Aug 2003

(In a hostel trying to charge my phone in an outlet in the communal kitchen)

This phone it taking forever to charge and I am so damn sleepy, fuck it all.
What am I thinking about right now? Masters and Johnson and Johnson. JFKFC. Back and to the left.


When I was visiting the guys I found this little sparrow on the sidewalk on his back desperately trying to right itself, like some feathery little turtle on his back. I sat down in front of him. I picked him up and Huffy and Colin and our little bird, Petey, who was dying, dying in my hands and we started walking home and I tried to find a nice quiet spot where I could drop him and he could die. A place he could die a peaceful death. A little place called Aspen where the beer flows like wine. Fuck it. I can't stay up. I'd make a lousy apostle. If you want to find out if someone is looking at you try yawning and then and only then if they yawn, you'll know and you can move on. So have you every hit your girlfriend? Say you're just sitting there and then you know, kerchow!

23 August 2009

A Conversation with Liz

Last week (we went to Target and then the grocery store)
In the car on the way to the grocery store


Me: I actually have a pretty nice little Saturday with misses planned. We're going to the Home Depot buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath and Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Liz: You know that's you now, right? Do you want to hold my purse? You know, because your balls are in there.

Me: Ha ha, that's pretty funny. I'll fucking kill you.

19 nov 2008

The rehearsal dinner, I-Bar afterwards. We had people over for a pizza dinner on Thursday. Liz was absolutely lit, feeling up my friends, making out with others.
The day of, Colin made me a wedding mix. Kevin drove and brought me coffee. TGI Fridays with pre-game drinks.

Dirty Sanchezes, Boston Steamers, and Cincinnati Bow ties.

Fred and Tom, everything going so smooth, as glass.

Sea Breezes and Alabama Slamas.

Holding hands and the reception. A good Catholic Whiskey. Nate and Laura, Angela, Dave and Mendy, Kevin and Jenny. Dancing with Audrey, Emma and Martin. Gold Digger and the Regulators. Oh no.

Blow Jobs and Buttery Nipples.

The after party in Dave and Mendy's room. Liz being amazing.

Purple Turnips and Rhode Island Scholars.

Alex giving a great best man speech. Crazy? I was crazy once. Almost crying. The honeymoon going good so far. Model face, Monkey face. Margaritas. This is the rest of my life welcome to it. I used to write this as a sort of sad little threat but right now, right in this moment I'm happy. I want this, I want this life.

Mai Thais and Tequila Sunrises.

Lemon Drops and Grasshoppers.

Rainbows, puppy dogs and sunshine.

A wife, kids, a family.

In that little room off to the side in the church. I just want to thank you guys What time is it? Game time Oorah.

All of you are my all-star team, let me be worthy of this.

Quitter

Chapter 1

Six words, a six word short story.

Ernest Hemmingway - Baby shoes for sale, never used

Luxury Jackson- Looking for love, found Jesus instead

October 7, 2002

Do you want this jacket? I'll give it to you because I am cloaked in failure. It's one- ten in the morning and I am wide awake. I think I might go home after I punch out one or two more pages of this journal thing and finish watching Mission Impossible II. I am going to go running tomorrow and lift weights, I have the L.A. police test in 2 months and I need to get in a lot better shape if I want to be placed high on the list of applicants to ensure myself a place at the academy. Quiet as it's kept I don't think it's that hard to become L.A.P.D. I think they're hiring illegal aliens, so long as you can prove that you've lived in the state for more then five years or something.

October 8,2002

Today I went into work, which is always nice. I meant to go in earlier then usual seeing how this is my one day where I can put in a full eight or nine hours, but I stayed up late last night drinking apple juices with the gang. It was Colin's birthday and I figured we ought to do it right. Mendy and Sida came over which was nice. I hung out with Mendy on Friday and had a nice time, just shooting the breeze until the wee hours of the morning talking about love and love lost and unrequited love blase' blase'. It was really easy to talk to her surprisingly just because it doesn't seem like our personalities are very similar at all but I guess she has been through what I'm going through right now. I need to get away from this city... this everything. I'm not really running towards something like L.A. or a job right of college as much as I'm running away from everything else.
You can never go home but I guess you can always shop there. I don't know L.A. just seems like the right fit for me, 6 foot blonds growing on trees not ditsy but simple. I'll stay out there for three, four, maybe five years and then go ahead and test into the Chicago police department and move back home. I don't get into the L.A. police department then I am going to go ahead and join the marines.


October 5, 2002

I went home two weekends ago and hung out with my friends from high school. I guess they are all still friends and hang out together, which for me is crazy. It was as if they all had just swelled. I can't believe Adam smokes now. All these little things that everybody has picked up, I mean it's cliche' and when I mean it's kind of cliche', it is kind of cliche' but the person I am now wouldn't recognize the person I was back then.
- That is so much bullshit. I am pretty close to the person I was back in high school. The more you change the more you stay the same.

the year 2000- or how miller high life became the champagne of beers

(the summer of 00')

My thoughts about keeping a journal/diary thing, were that it would be a cool little thing to keep up. I don't know much work it will be or even if I should be writing down things that could get me in trouble. It is 2:26 in the morning, I have been having trouble falling asleep lately. I move back to school in two days for another year which I don't think will be anything like the first. That first year was something else, I feel like I really grew so much in one year, which was the result of meeting a lot of interesting people and learning so much... and not from school either. I think the main thing I learned and hope will always stay with me is to be excited about life. Just... to get excited about things, like a young Jack Kerouac and just be, just be... all over the place and find everything and everyone with interest. I hope that if I keep this up I will become better at writing down my thoughts. I feel that I am finishing one sentence and two more thoughts pop into my head and I hurry up and have to finish my last one. I've experienced so mush just being around someone like Colin. At first it was a bit of social shock because he is do different then me... but then again we are alike. I think he had a very profound affect... blah, blah, blah-
After three days without sleep you can hear voices in running water. I have wondered recently what those voices would say to me. ---
I am looking forward to this year and the apartment if anything it will be- life experience-which I could always use...

Brian is thinking he's just like bob evans if he was in The Recruit, he's down at the farm...

Winter 08'

He takes one knee
"Are you serious?"
"Are you serious?" she says, the tiny black velvet box is in his hands.
She collapses perfectly, gracefully
"Yes, Yes"
they stand up together, he helps her up, and they kiss
I pause wanting the moment, their moment too be perfect... then shout across the still frozen water and all the brilliant white that is Humboldt Park and the winter.
"Way to go guys..... Wooo!!!"
They look and wave together, big wide goofy swings with their arms and I wave back and call to the dog and we continue running through the snow.


(If I'm lying I'm dying... I went running with Bear and saw two people get engaged on the fishing pier in Humbolt Park this winter... this is their story.)

Old grocery lists that Liz wrote that I found in the junk drawer

Bread
Blackberry jelly
Creamer
Total Raisin Bran
Milk
Bananas, butter
Grapes
Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches
tilapia
50/50 mix salad
cherry tomatoes
cucumber
laundry detergent
Windex
tomato- regular

(Second list, from different date)

-Creamer
-Wheat bread
-Almonds
-dried cranberries
-4 Dannon light yogurts
-2 Italian Wedding Soups
"Campbell's Select Harvest"
-package of chicken (2)
-celery
-scallions
-gorgonzola cheese (crumbled)

best new made-up rock band names for 08'

google this

madame bovary's ovaries

dorks say what?

oscar wilde things

sugar, water, purple

the krunchettes

A short play

Scene: A small office, two work desks facing each other with Joe and Bill (coworkers) sitting across from each other.

Joe: Yeah, I know right?
Bill: Wait a minute Joe... you're actually telling me that you woke up this morning and found out that while you were asleep you had time travelled, what, three to five seconds into the future. That is so weird.
Joe: I don't know. I don't know. I don't think so. I have no idea how to get back, it's like I'm existing on a whole different plane. It's okay I'll clean it up.
Bill: Do you know what happened? (Bill reaches across the desk grabbing Joe's arm) Were you exposed to any cosmic rays? Did you take any joy rides in a DeLorean? Do you know how to get back??? (Bill throws his arms in the air in exasperation knocking over Joe's coffee mug of pens and pencils.)
Bill: I'm sorry about the mess Joe but, this is so weird.
Joe: What!?!? (Joe jumps up from his desk) What are you going to do with that hook??? No, you bastard!
Bill: What is it Joe? What do you see in the immediate future?
(Enter blood thirty pirate with hook for a hand, the pirate walks up directly behind Bill and raises the hook slowly above his head).
Joe: Fuck you, you blood thirsty pirate. I'll get you, Bill!!!!!!!! (Joe shakes his clenched hands in the air).
Bill: What? Joe, what is it??? What do you see? (pause)
(Pirate sinks hook into Bill's back)
Bill: Ackkk
and scene...