a conversation with porter

porter: you know what would be super fun???

me: what's that porter?

porter: if you just put me in the closet in the basement, closed the door and went upstairs and took a nap.

me: that would be really weird, and i think child abuse. why would you want me to do that?

porter: we can call it porter time and don't worry no one would need to know, especially mom. this could be our little secret.

me: i don't know about this. (placing baby in closet)

porter: well i do. now remember to leave me in here for at least the next three hours and what ever you do, don't open the door. do you remember the scene in poltergeist at the end, after the clown, the mom runs into the children's room and they are being sucked into that vortex that looks exactly like a woman's vagina?

me: i do

porter: so do i and i've never seen the movie. get it now?

me: thanks porter, good looking out and i owe you one. (closing door and going upstairs to take nap)