07 ocT 02

do you want this jacket?
i'll give it to you, because i am cloaked in failure.

it's one ten in morning and i am wide awake. i think i might go home after i punch out on or two more pages of this journal thing and finish watching mission impossible two. i am going running tomorrow and lifting weights. i have the l.a. police test in two months and i need to get in a lot better shape if i want to be placed high on the list of applicants to ensure a place at the academy. quiet as it's kept... i don't think it's that hard to become the l.a.p.d. i think they're hiring illegal aliens... so long as you can prove that you've lived in the states for more then five years or something. there is no bench press test nor is there the mile and a half run, it's a stationary bike and a chest expander test. what the hell is that???
i need to stop eating so much, not because i'm going to get fat (which i am) but because food is so damn expensive. it's like all the guys i went to high school were the same but they swelled. since school started and i haven't been working full time i think i put on a pound or two. i need to to start watching what i eat because i am slowly killing myself. my dad didn't drink or smoke but he packed away the oreos three at a time... fitting those soggy things in his mouth, finishing a row after a meal. i think i eat a little bit better then him but i have moments.
for the next two weeks i am going to just try and chill out...