have you found jesus? he's hiding behind the couch

driving through mississippi listening to tupelo honey on a radio station broadcasting from get this... tupelo. now mind you i thought the new england patriots were from the wonderful state of new england. 'sigh' the quaint state. why would a professional football team create a fictitious state and then pretend to come from there??? it just doesn't make sense. i stayed and lived in st bernard parish population 20,000 down from 76,000. one of the levees broke a street down from where we are working on, daniel's house, installing sheet rock and insulation and then eventually mud. sheet rock i found out is just dry wall, like kleenex is a kind of facial tissue. I make a lot of unnecessary holes in daniel's sheet rock. I try to make my mistakes while daniel is not around. as a doctor the one thing you're trained not to say... 'oops'. most of the day daniel is at work, he's a welder and mercifully not a carpenter. seventeen months after the hurricane he still live in his fema trailer behind his house. about every fifth house has one of these trailers in front or on the side of a home the rest of the homes are left deserted rotting from the inside. daniel's trailer is a sort of all plastic rv camper, think small. think tiny. It smells exactly like my parent's neighbor's house. this fact drives me insane. that smell reminds me of leather couches and baby sitting and all the cherry coca- cola and cable television i could want. i want to ask daniel if it's some kind of plug in or scent strip or something. i get bit by a spider, several times, and my hand swells up to this size of a medium grape fruit. the brown recluse spider they tell us in orientation is the cousin to the black widow. it will not kill you but the third day is very bad they tell us... very bad. I am popping benadryl tablets like bright pink tic tacs thinking if i was dying i think i would know it, it would hurt a lot more. my hand would fall off first or something... then again it is only day two. shit

the big easy mac

i'm leaving tomorrow for new orleans... nah ahleans... norleans... nah-lens
the conversation i had not two minutes ago with the "camp hope" lady who answered the phone (camp hope is the place I'll be living at for two weeks and then I'll just commute to the habitat for humanity work site by car)
chlwap: camp hope
me: hey, my name is Sir Henry Oglepants I did all of this online so I was just checking, I was looking at your guys website and there's an orientation that sunday before work on monday.
chlwap: That's right, so you need to get here before five on sunday and make sure to bring an extra blanket and some warm clothes. You're probably going to need a jacket. It's kind of cold down here.
me: that's okay i'm from chicago...
chwalp: the group from Minnesota whose here is bitching about the cold... we don't have heat.

11 jAn 2007

I think woody allen said it best: life is full of loneliness, misery, and suffering and it's all over much too soon
act one/ scene one:
Celery was laying on the floor in the living room sucking a Peach menthol ciggarette, and bob was in the bathroom with several dried makers in the sink and his shirt up over his head. She shouted down the hallway "what are you doing in there?" Bob inspecting a red flair, looked into the mirror and began filling the dark circle that was six inches down and to the left of one his nipples. "I'm giving myself a third nipple." Turning his attention back to what was going on in the bathroom he finished up and satisfied with the results spoke to no one in particular "I am a freak. I'm damaged goods."
Celery took a cracked coffee mug and swirling the last of its contents of cough syrup and coca cola drank it in three mouthfuls. "Okay whatever, just don't be beating off in my sink- because you never rinse out the bowl and I don't want your man juice all over my fake marble counter top." Bob stumbled out of the bathroom with a fistful of markers working his stained t-shirt back over his head. "Here you go, I cleaned up with this. You might want to wash it in bleach and then burn it" throwing a yellow dishtowel in celery's direction, bob marched to the kitched and came back a few second later with a crumpled paper bag which after popping off the remaining marker’s caps with his teeth dropped into the bag and inhaled deeply. Celery curled the ends of her mouth into a smile “Here you go you little nancy you dropped this” holding up the rag “and by the way I have at least, I’d say… two std’s that you haven’t even heard of, so I’m not worried.”
The apartment was like all apartments anonymous, badly lit, smelling of over ripe bananas wrapped in wet newspapers, filled with lead paint chips. “They called it the devil’s dandruff” celery whispered to herself, pulling a white chip of the wall the size and shape of a silver dollar and popped it into her mouth. “so did you want to get something to eat?” Celery pulled herself up to a sitting position “I don’t know it sounds kind of over rated.” Bob grabbed his coat off the ground by the door and spinning around twice managed to find his keys under a pile of dirty clothes and a burnt phone book “Come on, it could be an adventure.” Celery pulled on her shoes and after tying the laces together shuffled to the door. The door closed behind them, but wasn’t locked and they walked out on to the street and into a torrential downpour, celery with her laces tied together shuffling after bob. (end scene one)

reasons to create a blog: part two

jay: I don't know if I did
colin: jay, you have a cold not Alzheimer

this is my life this is my mistake
tell me a story a good story...
there once was a man who gave up everything he knew to become something he wasn't the end.
you can never go home but you can always shop there...

reasons to create a blog: part one

a conversation...
me "my life barely entertains me"
colin "I find your life mildly entertaining. I mean wildly entertaining."