Terrible begginings from even worse imaginary short stories

"Why, with enough vinegar you could pickle just about anything."

- Grandma Latke's Secret Cellar



"I'm sorry, your son will never be able to blow his nose again... ever."

- COUNTY a memoir by Dr. Tristan McStumbles III



"Sera was beautiful, she smelled like cookies and sunshine, but she was also a troubled young woman. She spelt her name with an -e- (which you already knew) and then there was the herpes."

- Love Blisters