it will be two year in two days for when i left for australia. what a strange little trip it's been. from here to there, back and forth and back again. i wanted to be alone tonight. to tear, i guess, to tear my flesh off in huge ragged chunks until i looked like how i feel inside. this is my life. i chose this. the person i am now is going to hate myself in what??? six months... six years. a glutton for punishment. relationships are ridiculous things but we need the eggs... it's not the end of the world what ever it is.
24 april 2005
kevin: you know what this party needs???
colin: no, what?
kevin: more dudes!!!!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
17 noVember 05
ooh prague, it's a beautiful city. hot wine on cold nights. goulash, kafka and wursts with mustard and chunks of rye bread. i have the whole room to myself at the beta hostel and it's lovely and you can smoke in the room and take hot private showers. i know it can't last. i wandered around the city venturing further and further out getting more and more turned around... but that's okay because i don't really have anywhere to be. i'm not lonely, only alone... and it's suiting because it's self induced. if it ain't baroque don't fix it. praha is divided into four bits: old town, new town, lesser town and some other part that involves a castle. the last two are across the river vltava. i know this because i have the map in front of me and also because i got drunk and took the 1,000 czech crown tour "prague at night". i have two more cities to go and truthfully now... i just want to come home. i walked up the hill and saw the prague eiffel tower and the castle. in london i managed to stay lost for about five hours and saw buckingham palace. the tower of london is actually a bunch of towers and whole place is very flat and low to the ground. mendy and dave have just been amazing to me. fish and chips; curries and pubs and walks up and down the thames with coffee breaks. they've made a home for themselves about ten minutes from victoria station and mendy's making plans with her friends james and jenny for her hen party. i'm staying in vysehrad next to the metro that runs inside the expressway. vysehard castle was built in the 10th century and was the king's home and the center of the kingdom until 1140, blah, blah, blah...
if you hit the river then you know that you've gone too far west with powder gate and all the windy narrow streets at odd angles and large flat paving stones which are a god send because you can hear a car coming from a mile away. the tires bouncing in between the cracks of the stones in the distinct flip, flip, flip sound letting you know a vehicle is coming down the crazy blind alley that you're walking down and you better start heading towards the sidewalk and safety. here it's the little things: the way everyone sets your change down on the counter and yes, get ready for it... it is the royale with cheese.
if you hit the river then you know that you've gone too far west with powder gate and all the windy narrow streets at odd angles and large flat paving stones which are a god send because you can hear a car coming from a mile away. the tires bouncing in between the cracks of the stones in the distinct flip, flip, flip sound letting you know a vehicle is coming down the crazy blind alley that you're walking down and you better start heading towards the sidewalk and safety. here it's the little things: the way everyone sets your change down on the counter and yes, get ready for it... it is the royale with cheese.
12 apRil 07
no, no, no... listen
moving in with liz at the end of the month. first we get the khakis then we get the girls. making or trying to make, red beans and rice while listening to to tupelo honey. how perfect is this moment??? hot wine on cold nights. eating a brawt at the fucking game, (jesus christ... did i even know this girl?) australia, alaska, rowanda (sp)??? i suppose it's the people you love and not not the other way around.
moving in with liz at the end of the month. first we get the khakis then we get the girls. making or trying to make, red beans and rice while listening to to tupelo honey. how perfect is this moment??? hot wine on cold nights. eating a brawt at the fucking game, (jesus christ... did i even know this girl?) australia, alaska, rowanda (sp)??? i suppose it's the people you love and not not the other way around.
da bear- part (2) two of the seven eleven
bear sat lazily on the roof of some nondescript boarded up building smoking and drinking from a dented can of warm beer... waving his hand in sluggish circles.
bear: all of this is temporary- god, you, me and ice cream. it's not a lot, but it's our lot in life.
upcheck sat indian style his arms folded tightly across his chest.
upcheck: you know this isn't over, you may think this is done but...
bear flopped over on his side and pulling his legs up to his chest and folding his arms over his scabbed knees... whispered to himself "is this my mind? is this my mind? is this my mind?"
upcheck sat quietly and stared off into space before speaking again.
upcheck: this is not over, this thing we created has become more... and not even death can stop it now. not his, not mine, not even yours. they will defeat us all... i don't even know what that means anymore.
upcheck stood up and dusted off the back side of his pants. "they attacked michigan last night, he managed to get away. i don't know what would have happened to him... meditate on that."
narrator: and with that upcheck turned to leave, exit stage left.
narrator: the game was fought at night under the cover of darkness and in good faith, until the time...
upcheck ducked into an alley glancing over his shoulder occasionally, he made his way across the wet cobblestone making his way home, it was after dark.
the three samurai lay in wait, in the shadows of a quiet gangway.
the fight was brief and a violent mess. it was only ended by the sound of approaching sirens, several minutes later, as one of the assassins threw elbow after elbow into the base of his skull in an attempt to separate the brain from the spinal column.
narrator: from many, one
bear: all of this is temporary- god, you, me and ice cream. it's not a lot, but it's our lot in life.
upcheck sat indian style his arms folded tightly across his chest.
upcheck: you know this isn't over, you may think this is done but...
bear flopped over on his side and pulling his legs up to his chest and folding his arms over his scabbed knees... whispered to himself "is this my mind? is this my mind? is this my mind?"
upcheck sat quietly and stared off into space before speaking again.
upcheck: this is not over, this thing we created has become more... and not even death can stop it now. not his, not mine, not even yours. they will defeat us all... i don't even know what that means anymore.
upcheck stood up and dusted off the back side of his pants. "they attacked michigan last night, he managed to get away. i don't know what would have happened to him... meditate on that."
narrator: and with that upcheck turned to leave, exit stage left.
narrator: the game was fought at night under the cover of darkness and in good faith, until the time...
upcheck ducked into an alley glancing over his shoulder occasionally, he made his way across the wet cobblestone making his way home, it was after dark.
the three samurai lay in wait, in the shadows of a quiet gangway.
the fight was brief and a violent mess. it was only ended by the sound of approaching sirens, several minutes later, as one of the assassins threw elbow after elbow into the base of his skull in an attempt to separate the brain from the spinal column.
narrator: from many, one
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