October 7, 2002

Do you want this jacket? I'll give it to you because I am cloaked in failure. It's one- ten in the morning and I am wide awake. I think I might go home after I punch out one or two more pages of this journal thing and finish watching Mission Impossible II. I am going to go running tomorrow and lift weights, I have the L.A. police test in 2 months and I need to get in a lot better shape if I want to be placed high on the list of applicants to ensure myself a place at the academy. Quiet as it's kept I don't think it's that hard to become L.A.P.D. I think they're hiring illegal aliens, so long as you can prove that you've lived in the state for more then five years or something.

October 8,2002

Today I went into work, which is always nice. I meant to go in earlier then usual seeing how this is my one day where I can put in a full eight or nine hours, but I stayed up late last night drinking apple juices with the gang. It was Colin's birthday and I figured we ought to do it right. Mendy and Sida came over which was nice. I hung out with Mendy on Friday and had a nice time, just shooting the breeze until the wee hours of the morning talking about love and love lost and unrequited love blase' blase'. It was really easy to talk to her surprisingly just because it doesn't seem like our personalities are very similar at all but I guess she has been through what I'm going through right now. I need to get away from this city... this everything. I'm not really running towards something like L.A. or a job right of college as much as I'm running away from everything else.
You can never go home but I guess you can always shop there. I don't know L.A. just seems like the right fit for me, 6 foot blonds growing on trees not ditsy but simple. I'll stay out there for three, four, maybe five years and then go ahead and test into the Chicago police department and move back home. I don't get into the L.A. police department then I am going to go ahead and join the marines.


October 5, 2002

I went home two weekends ago and hung out with my friends from high school. I guess they are all still friends and hang out together, which for me is crazy. It was as if they all had just swelled. I can't believe Adam smokes now. All these little things that everybody has picked up, I mean it's cliche' and when I mean it's kind of cliche', it is kind of cliche' but the person I am now wouldn't recognize the person I was back then.
- That is so much bullshit. I am pretty close to the person I was back in high school. The more you change the more you stay the same.