no, no, no... listen
moving in with liz at the end of the month. first we get the khakis then we get the girls. making or trying to make, red beans and rice while listening to to tupelo honey. how perfect is this moment??? hot wine on cold nights. eating a brawt at the fucking game, (jesus christ... did i even know this girl?) australia, alaska, rowanda (sp)??? i suppose it's the people you love and not not the other way around.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
da bear- part (2) two of the seven eleven
bear sat lazily on the roof of some nondescript boarded up building smoking and drinking from a dented can of warm beer... waving his hand in sluggish circles.
bear: all of this is temporary- god, you, me and ice cream. it's not a lot, but it's our lot in life.
upcheck sat indian style his arms folded tightly across his chest.
upcheck: you know this isn't over, you may think this is done but...
bear flopped over on his side and pulling his legs up to his chest and folding his arms over his scabbed knees... whispered to himself "is this my mind? is this my mind? is this my mind?"
upcheck sat quietly and stared off into space before speaking again.
upcheck: this is not over, this thing we created has become more... and not even death can stop it now. not his, not mine, not even yours. they will defeat us all... i don't even know what that means anymore.
upcheck stood up and dusted off the back side of his pants. "they attacked michigan last night, he managed to get away. i don't know what would have happened to him... meditate on that."
narrator: and with that upcheck turned to leave, exit stage left.
narrator: the game was fought at night under the cover of darkness and in good faith, until the time...
upcheck ducked into an alley glancing over his shoulder occasionally, he made his way across the wet cobblestone making his way home, it was after dark.
the three samurai lay in wait, in the shadows of a quiet gangway.
the fight was brief and a violent mess. it was only ended by the sound of approaching sirens, several minutes later, as one of the assassins threw elbow after elbow into the base of his skull in an attempt to separate the brain from the spinal column.
narrator: from many, one
bear: all of this is temporary- god, you, me and ice cream. it's not a lot, but it's our lot in life.
upcheck sat indian style his arms folded tightly across his chest.
upcheck: you know this isn't over, you may think this is done but...
bear flopped over on his side and pulling his legs up to his chest and folding his arms over his scabbed knees... whispered to himself "is this my mind? is this my mind? is this my mind?"
upcheck sat quietly and stared off into space before speaking again.
upcheck: this is not over, this thing we created has become more... and not even death can stop it now. not his, not mine, not even yours. they will defeat us all... i don't even know what that means anymore.
upcheck stood up and dusted off the back side of his pants. "they attacked michigan last night, he managed to get away. i don't know what would have happened to him... meditate on that."
narrator: and with that upcheck turned to leave, exit stage left.
narrator: the game was fought at night under the cover of darkness and in good faith, until the time...
upcheck ducked into an alley glancing over his shoulder occasionally, he made his way across the wet cobblestone making his way home, it was after dark.
the three samurai lay in wait, in the shadows of a quiet gangway.
the fight was brief and a violent mess. it was only ended by the sound of approaching sirens, several minutes later, as one of the assassins threw elbow after elbow into the base of his skull in an attempt to separate the brain from the spinal column.
narrator: from many, one
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
paht seven
celery- ce'st la vie
slew- shit my man, i think you stabbed me...
upcheck and the two men poured out of the bar and into the street legs and arms flailing everywhere. celery sat there silently the hood on her faded green jacket pulled down over her eyes sucking on a wet cigarette with the filter torn off.
-celery was downtown, for whatever reason, and people watching... everyone was a walking obituary to her back then. your life summed up in a three sentence blurb. son of so and so... father to him and her like that's all you managed to do in your time here on earth, procreate. and a man with a seeing eye dog, a blind man, was coming up to the intersection, and this dog with his sad eyes slumped over in this crazy harness takes this man through the crosswalk against the red light and the bright orange hand. this fucking dog doesn't miss a beat. he's ready. given up on life. defeated. everyone on the street is standing there stunned. to say anything would invite panic and ultimately death... and the whole time cars are barely missing the man and his sad- eyed yellow dog. they both died... not then, but later... cancer, but many years later and apart.
the three men on the corner struggle in the rain oblivious to the world around them.
upcheck screams- go ahead... blacken my soul out with violence and loss.
the third man fishes in his pants pocket for something: a knife with a black pearl handle.
slew seeing all of this sprints across the street at full speed as the third man wrestles his knife open with a free hand.
me: have you even read my blog???
mendy: i read the first one or two. it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, soooo...
me: you haven't even looked at it, have you?
mendy: it's not even about you, really...
(thank you mendy, for everything, even if you'll never read it. my thanks... not the blog)
slew trips, tripped... three's company style, and falls on the knife with the black pearl handle, the grace of god, and the calloused hand that held the thing...
celery limps over to the crime scene with the yellow tape only to be taken down after it is all over. upcheck stands by himself on the corner, his pock marked face twisted into a frown.
"i've seen all of this in my dreams"
"i know, i think we all did..."
"this is the end of the beginning..."
"or the other way around"
slew- shit my man, i think you stabbed me...
upcheck and the two men poured out of the bar and into the street legs and arms flailing everywhere. celery sat there silently the hood on her faded green jacket pulled down over her eyes sucking on a wet cigarette with the filter torn off.
-celery was downtown, for whatever reason, and people watching... everyone was a walking obituary to her back then. your life summed up in a three sentence blurb. son of so and so... father to him and her like that's all you managed to do in your time here on earth, procreate. and a man with a seeing eye dog, a blind man, was coming up to the intersection, and this dog with his sad eyes slumped over in this crazy harness takes this man through the crosswalk against the red light and the bright orange hand. this fucking dog doesn't miss a beat. he's ready. given up on life. defeated. everyone on the street is standing there stunned. to say anything would invite panic and ultimately death... and the whole time cars are barely missing the man and his sad- eyed yellow dog. they both died... not then, but later... cancer, but many years later and apart.
the three men on the corner struggle in the rain oblivious to the world around them.
upcheck screams- go ahead... blacken my soul out with violence and loss.
the third man fishes in his pants pocket for something: a knife with a black pearl handle.
slew seeing all of this sprints across the street at full speed as the third man wrestles his knife open with a free hand.
me: have you even read my blog???
mendy: i read the first one or two. it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, soooo...
me: you haven't even looked at it, have you?
mendy: it's not even about you, really...
(thank you mendy, for everything, even if you'll never read it. my thanks... not the blog)
slew trips, tripped... three's company style, and falls on the knife with the black pearl handle, the grace of god, and the calloused hand that held the thing...
celery limps over to the crime scene with the yellow tape only to be taken down after it is all over. upcheck stands by himself on the corner, his pock marked face twisted into a frown.
"i've seen all of this in my dreams"
"i know, i think we all did..."
"this is the end of the beginning..."
"or the other way around"
Saturday, May 5, 2007
the magnificient seven samurai
from many, one...
michigan was running, running running.
a small lactic knife slid underneath his ribs.
the fear of god.
narrator: seven young men went out that night and six returned... so it goes.
michigan jumped a low chain link fence, monkey vaulting, into the adjacent backyard and doubled back.
narrator: seven young men went out and six returned: three samurai and three ronin... the seventh died.
michigan wheeled around and threw a wild side kick into the chest of his once friend.
narrator: the game was created- from many, one- the battles were fought after midnight. midnight was when the monsters came out. alliances were formed and broken... to the victor the spoils, and all would be forgiven in the end... until the night six returned.
the two shadows were on top of michigan raining blows on his back and shoulders as he wrung himself free of his black hoody. this fight is over.
narrator: the competition, the game, became a sick and twisted thing after that night.
three ronin against three samurai... and this is where this story ends its beginning.
michigan scrambled and managed to strike the one young man between the legs with a closed hand and fled down the alley southbound with tears in his eyes.
michigan was running, running running.
a small lactic knife slid underneath his ribs.
the fear of god.
narrator: seven young men went out that night and six returned... so it goes.
michigan jumped a low chain link fence, monkey vaulting, into the adjacent backyard and doubled back.
narrator: seven young men went out and six returned: three samurai and three ronin... the seventh died.
michigan wheeled around and threw a wild side kick into the chest of his once friend.
narrator: the game was created- from many, one- the battles were fought after midnight. midnight was when the monsters came out. alliances were formed and broken... to the victor the spoils, and all would be forgiven in the end... until the night six returned.
the two shadows were on top of michigan raining blows on his back and shoulders as he wrung himself free of his black hoody. this fight is over.
narrator: the competition, the game, became a sick and twisted thing after that night.
three ronin against three samurai... and this is where this story ends its beginning.
michigan scrambled and managed to strike the one young man between the legs with a closed hand and fled down the alley southbound with tears in his eyes.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
sloths...sloths!!! aka paid a dog to burn down a hospital
if you're going to sit there and insult me at least make it accurate. upcheck sobbed into an empty smudged glass. the truth hurts sooooo much more.
the beginning of the end or the other way around.
celery tugged at the frayed end of her pale green jacket. it was raining... again.
his name was death and hell followed with him.
upcheck raised a chipped glass "to sex with exe's"
bob/ slew waited silently for the accident he was only able to prevent.
"to new beginnings or the same old shit."
"i'll fold you like a lawn chair, my man... beat you like a drum, smoke you like a cheap cigar."
celery hobbled over, she had twisted her ankle after successfully falling several times that night.
sophisticated ruin.
the lights changed from green to yellow to red... again that night.
"what are you going to do??? are you going to hit me?"
there was a knife with a pearl handle, a four inch blade and the grace of god..
bob- 15 aPril 2007
celery gave all her friends cancer in her mind...
her mother would marvel at their complete recovery months later.
next time little suzy so and so from the down the street would come over to play...
leukemia, lymphoma, lou gehrigh's disease... a lot of diseases that start with the letter "l"
celery was prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. a life lived with the added poignancy and interest that always involves a near death experience (with help from a thin, pale, eleven year old girl)... a small miracle existing purely in her mother's mind.
the beginning of the end or the other way around.
celery tugged at the frayed end of her pale green jacket. it was raining... again.
his name was death and hell followed with him.
upcheck raised a chipped glass "to sex with exe's"
bob/ slew waited silently for the accident he was only able to prevent.
"to new beginnings or the same old shit."
"i'll fold you like a lawn chair, my man... beat you like a drum, smoke you like a cheap cigar."
celery hobbled over, she had twisted her ankle after successfully falling several times that night.
sophisticated ruin.
the lights changed from green to yellow to red... again that night.
"what are you going to do??? are you going to hit me?"
there was a knife with a pearl handle, a four inch blade and the grace of god..
bob- 15 aPril 2007
celery gave all her friends cancer in her mind...
her mother would marvel at their complete recovery months later.
next time little suzy so and so from the down the street would come over to play...
leukemia, lymphoma, lou gehrigh's disease... a lot of diseases that start with the letter "l"
celery was prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. a life lived with the added poignancy and interest that always involves a near death experience (with help from a thin, pale, eleven year old girl)... a small miracle existing purely in her mother's mind.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
classic peanuts, or... hey charlie brown fuck you
(old sir henry oglepants, from my journal... which does make the saddest sort of friend)
10-12 june 2003
i sort of drifted through the city of sydney my first day in a a caffeine and nicotine haze. I've started planning in my head a trip toward queensland where i can pick bananas or trawl for fish in cairns. random unsubstantial conversations with complete strangers as i wandered around darling harbor, the rocks, and circular quay. i sat around, smoked, watching the people move around the city.
"it was all beautifully similar to everywhere else i've been."
-and for travelling alone... well... if that's way it's going to be. fuck it. that's the way it is.
I smiled and waved and the tiny girl giggled and buried her head in her mother's shirt and i was out the elevator door without a glance back...
10-12 june 2003
i sort of drifted through the city of sydney my first day in a a caffeine and nicotine haze. I've started planning in my head a trip toward queensland where i can pick bananas or trawl for fish in cairns. random unsubstantial conversations with complete strangers as i wandered around darling harbor, the rocks, and circular quay. i sat around, smoked, watching the people move around the city.
"it was all beautifully similar to everywhere else i've been."
-and for travelling alone... well... if that's way it's going to be. fuck it. that's the way it is.
I smiled and waved and the tiny girl giggled and buried her head in her mother's shirt and i was out the elevator door without a glance back...
18 august 2006
i went to dave and mendy's wedding on the 09th. two flights, a tube ride and then a train ride to plymouth and waited at the bus depot for another three hours and some fourteen hundred dollars later. you can't put a price on friendship. it was beautiful wedding at a naploeanic fort on the side of a cliff. I hung out with james and jenny most of the days and james's sister rachel. we stayed up late talking both nights. she was a social worker and lived in south london on the dodgey end. i drank coffee all night, the night of the wedding. rachel, james brown and jenny were just brilliant. smoking on the back steps with mendy's cousins from "WISCOSIN"... me the only one that laughed at my little joke... playing with her son. what is this??? the tiger claw.
sitting on couch with mendy... feeling so close to another person but at that same time realizing how far apart we really were... and that hug after it was all said and done from the two of them together. life is made up of all those small beautiful moments. i never want to forget that feeling; i never want to forget that memory. top five (number) four, show. staying with james and jenny, i realize why people travel because... someplaces at some times can feel more like home than home. in that moment you want to lose yourself. there will always be a place for you here. i would travel twice as far and spend all that i have... to be in that place to be with people i was sharing that moment. now i have twenty days consecutive days off and time to journal and drink and to do things.. and not to do them.
better men have met worse ends... but the race does not go to the fast nor the strong but time and chance when they intersect.
sitting on couch with mendy... feeling so close to another person but at that same time realizing how far apart we really were... and that hug after it was all said and done from the two of them together. life is made up of all those small beautiful moments. i never want to forget that feeling; i never want to forget that memory. top five (number) four, show. staying with james and jenny, i realize why people travel because... someplaces at some times can feel more like home than home. in that moment you want to lose yourself. there will always be a place for you here. i would travel twice as far and spend all that i have... to be in that place to be with people i was sharing that moment. now i have twenty days consecutive days off and time to journal and drink and to do things.. and not to do them.
better men have met worse ends... but the race does not go to the fast nor the strong but time and chance when they intersect.
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